Sunday, October 26, 2008

I decided to start a new blog. I'm over here. Something about a fresh pallet, a blank canvas, I dunno. Anyway, I've actually posted, so if you're so inclined..

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Well, all my chicks are home and under one roof again. Sigh of relief. They came home, happy to be back, with lots of presents to pass around and all the excitement of the younger siblings gathering round to hear about their adventures. Which really sound pretty mundane-they were visiting their great aunt after all. But they did get to go to Knottsberry farm which got good reviews. Other than that it sounds like they swam a lot and got a good dose of television (scary) and community fund raisers. They've been home a week and we are settling down into fall and routine and schoolwork and so forth. I like things mundane like that.

Shay and I have worked on revamping our household schedule. We got a bit sloppy over the summer, I must confess. I gave her the things we need to get done and she wrote it up. Which means I keep turning to her and asking "How long does cleaning time last?" and stuff like that. Roughly, this is how our day looks:

Get up at 6:00, get your coffee, tea, wash your face with cold water, whatever you need to do to come to family devotions AWAKE, please. :)

6:30-Family devotions. We are currently working on a Bible study that our church wrote for Sunday School on 1 John.

7:30-Breakfast preparations, clean up rooms, brush teeth, get dressed etc. Shay makes breakfast, I supervise the boys and the rest do their own jobs.

8:00-Breakfast-I also do the boys' catechism questions at breakfast. We are working on the "Catechism for young children" which is based on the Westminster, but more simply worded for children.

8:30-House cleaning time. Everyday we clean a different section of the house on rotation so the whole house (Theoretically speaking) gets cleaned each week.

10:00-School time. Shayleen is homeschooling my three middle girls and I am teaching the boys. But since the girls know what they are supposed to do, Shay doesn't have to be right there all day, so she stays downstairs with me for a little while. I keep one boy with me and we do phonics, practice reading and math. One little boy is at the table and he may color, play with clay, paint or be read to. And one little boy plays on the rug with Joseph, doing Lincoln Logs, blocks, Legos, etc. Joseph is being trained to have "rug time."

12:00-clean up, and Irene and Fiona make lunch.

12:30-eat. I read aloud at this time too. Right now I am reading Morning Star of the Reformation by Andy Thomson, about John Wycliffe.

1;00-clean up lunch mess

1:20-Quiet time-the older children have their own Bible time during this time and the little boys rest.

2:30-Finish schoolwork

3:00-Practice instruments

3:30-Free time

5:00-Make dinner

The time to eat dinner is tricky, my husband has a very sporadic schedule, being self employed. He could be home at 4:00 (though not often) or he could be out till nine. And I never know from day to day. Some days we wait dinner for him, and sometimes we just go ahead and eat. It just depends on how late he is and how well the little boys are holding up.

Evening time lately has mostly been reading aloud form Martin Rattler by R.M. Ballentyne. He's rather like Henty-a good boy adventure type book, but so far (and this is the first book we've read by him) we like him better. It seems like his characters are a little better developed and the story line less predictable. I will be getting more of his. This one is about a boy and his Irish sailor companion who are stranded in Brazil. The kids have really enjoyed the descriptions of the animals there. Though at one point he talks about Anacondas eating cows. Now could this really happen? He says the snakes can't swallow the horns so it sticks out of his throat until the horns fall off and then he finishes swallowing it. I have my doubts. A book we checked out about Anacondas said they are usually 10 feet long. Maybe someone can enlighten me.

I had an appointment with my midwife last week and my blood pressure had gone up 10 points. She said I'm stressing about the election (and the economic news as well) and I need to stop or else! *gulp*. She is also having me eat 150 grams of protein a day. Now that is A LOT of protein! I haven't made it yet I'm afraid, but I've been over 100 and it makes me feel so full. Rand is supposed to be bringing me home some protein powder so I can supplement with shakes. Hopefully that will be the ticket because I don't know how on earth I could make it otherwise-I feel like all I am eating is nuts, cheese, meat, cottage cheese, etc. But I will do it, because I want a nice, quiet, tame home birth like the Lord has blessed us with so many times before. So, I must, I must! I am also taking lots of calcium.

I have really been trying not to worry. Sometimes I do though. There is so much in our nation to be thankful for and I am thankful for the quiet little bits of home life and family the Lord has given us on this earth. Really He is so very good to give us the sweetness of babies, husbands, being able to take care of them and read them His word, mostly unhindered. We have taken so much for granted. Always grasping for more and not being content and joyful in what He provides. I pray many will turn from the grasping at the wind that all this financial chasing is and really turn to things that are real and eternal and make investments where they really matter-in the hearts of their families and neighbors and friends.. Maybe?

But one thing to remember-the news media profits off fear. Remember that.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Sarah Palin.. How could anyone spark so much controversy on one side and so much enthusiasm on another? There is so much disagreement over this one person.. I suppose the lines drawn are fairly typical in the Christian blogging world. Vision Forum, Carmon, and that side of the Christian world being agin', Doug Wilson, and of course a lot of others being for. In some ways I can get a little overwhelmed by all the controversy swirling around. I'm trying to boil it down to the things I feel pretty sure of. For one thing, I don't buy the argument that women are never to have authority over men. I do accept the roles of men and women in a marital situation, and also in the service of the church. These seem pretty clear in scripture and also have an illustrative purpose in modeling God's relationship with mankind. These we best not fool with. But I don't think that that automatically leads to a fact of being a 'gender twist' that a woman can be over a man in civil structure, or a work situation. And as to judging to whether she is being submissive to her own husband (which could be kind of arrogant, for us to presume we can judge her heart on this at all.) well, if he is supporting and even encouraging her to run, is she not acting with her husband's blessing? If we say that the husband is the one to make decisions for his family, then ought we not practice that and allow him to make that judgement for his family?

I'm not saying that the fact that she has children doesn't give me pause. I'm just saying I don't buy some of what's being said.

It really does bother me, as I read some of what is being written, the snideness of some of the comments. Quoted from the Vision Forum website (who are in turn quoting Worldnet Daily, who is quoting a home school mother)in regards to Todd Palin..

In fact, he recently hosted a tea for former first ladies of the state at the governor’s mansion in Juneau. I wonder if he held his pinkie upright as he sipped from his demitasse cup.

Yeah right. How snide. And I have to wonder if you chuckled to yourself over the cleverness of your own comment when you wrote that.

The way I see it is this. There is a job opening coming up that must be filled. There are two applicants. And one is light years more qualified, more ready and more in line with how I believe the job should be done than the other. Neither were my first pick, but I didn't get my first pick (or second, or third, or fourth..) this time around. So I make the best decision with what I have and get on with it.

I get tired of being typed by some as compromises, sold out to the Republican party etc. I could not in good conscience let my vote sit idle and have Obama win without a fight. I just couldn't.

There also seems to me to be a bit of an arrogance in some of the arguments going around. As though the white and cleanness of one's own personal holiness is more important than getting dirty in the fight. For example. No, John McCain is not purely pro-life. But he would appoint more constitutional judges. I doubt he would go in for tax funded abortions. I doubt we would see abortion programs done in foreign countries as we did during the Clinton years. (At least with US backing) I'm quite certain that there would be less abortions under a McCain presidency than an Obama. But we have it said round about that if you're not "all pro-life, you're not pro-life at all, therefore I (being the speaker) can't vote for McCain. So tell that to the babies who would be at risk under an Obama presidency who wouldn't be as much so under a McCain. You couldn't get your hands dirty and vote for someone who didn't line up with everything you wanted? Your personal feeling of sanctity was more important? I don't buy that kind of sanctity.

And I don't buy the argument that things have to get worse in order to get better. Or maybe if things get really bad, people will wake up. I read one comment on one blog that said she'd rather have an Obama presidency and the church praying fervently for revival than a McCain presidency and everyone just going on with life as usual. But sin is deceptive. It doesn't always come that people wake up when things get worse and worse. Look at countries that lived under communism and how even still the people have a nostalgia for the old days. Look at countries that have fallen and sludged along in poverty for hundreds of years and still they don't turn in large wholesale repentance. One doesn't always follow the other. By the grace of God it may, but I don't think we better plan on that.

Besides, if you follow that line of reasoning, we should never work to make anything better, for ourselves or our children, because as soon things got better, the people's hearts get worse!

Well, for all that, there's some of my thoughts. And now I better go make dinner.

Mexican chicken over rice and salad. What are you having? :)

Friday, September 12, 2008

Wednesday my oldest two set out on an airplane to go to California and spend a couple weeks with an aunt. This is the longest and farthest either have ever been from home. I hope they're having fun and doing alright.

Boy I miss Shay. I didn't expect it. I knew it would be inconvenient to have them gone, because they are my two legal babysitters and all. But the first day they were gone I just moped and felt like crying all day. Elisa has been sweet, trying to step up and be the oldest daughter and all. It's been cute to watch her do that. She always tries to be helpful. But she is pretty soft spoken and the boys don't take her very seriously. Shay has more of an iron will about her that they obey her better. I guess being the oldest, she's had to. She's my comrade in arms in the war to keep order around here.

Yesterday my midwife came. When she listened to the heartbeat she said, "Sounds like a good strong boy!"

Today I'm feeling all tuckered out so I decided to spend the day sewing. I finished a pair of denim bloomers I had started for Fiona and now I'm trying to make a skirt for Elisa. I tried making it without a pattern because I didn't have the kind of pattern I wanted. I wanted it to be more of a circle skirt with swing to it but I didn't have enough fabric to do a full circle. So far it just isn't turning out right. Argh. I don't get those women who can sew without patterns. What is wrong with me that I can't do it too? Especially since I don't really follow them. I guess I'm that way with cooking too. I hardly follow the recipe right on, but I do like to have the frame work laid out.

As usual the house completely falls apart when I sew. Sometimes I wonder why I do it at all. It does seem like it would just be easier to go ahead and buy stuff. But that can be frustrating too, trying to find styles I like and things that will find my very slender daughters. So I guess both have their draw backs.

Well, back to the drawing.. err.. sewing machine..

Saturday, August 30, 2008

A friend of my daughters sent this to her and I just had to post it. :)

Friday, August 29, 2008

*Warning* I'm going to be a little opinionated here...

In our media rich society, there are always these little sayings that go around that are supposed to convey some sort of truth, but really they are just the repeating of what someone else has said which some one else said, etc. Like "Well, if you raise those children strict like that, they'll rebel when they get older" or "Children need to learn socialization skills from other children". They aren't exactly cliches, because the wording changes, but they are this sort of widely accepted truth that people just tend to accept without really considering whether they are actually true or not.

One of the ones that goes around a lot in Christian political talk is that a vote for McCain is a vote "for the lesser of two evils". That just really, really sets my teeth on edge. Does the speaker repeating this HONESTLY believe that John McCain is evil? I mean truly in the accurate definition of the word? I disagree with McCain on some things, but I cannot believe anyone thinking clearly could call him a truly evil man. Hitler was truly evil. Stalin. Saddam Hussein. These are truly evil men. John McCain may have some political ideas that don't jive with me. And yes, I do think he's a bit self seeking and he is reported to have a bad temper. But would any of us want to be called EVIL on that basis? I know I can have some of those same faults myself from time to time.

We expect that kind of rhetoric from the left. The more extreme of their members see no problem going around blasting everyone with the label "Hitler" and "Nazi" My stars, if the world were really as full of Hitlers as they seem to think we would be in deep trouble indeed! But we are called to be more careful with our words. We should measure accurately what we say. We trivialize true evil when we just apply it all over with such a broad brush. But we say this with such ease, to call this man evil. So.. could we lay off this "lesser of two evils" thing? (At least in my hearing?) And stick to the real issues?

There, got that bee out of my bonnet.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Sorry, Amy...
I guess if I'd known that I wouldn't get a chance to post in a while, I wouldn't have picked that as my last entry... Ahhh, well...

My midwife came today. It was my first appointment, which is probably scandalous by modern medicine standards. That is, that I waited so long to call her-but she wasn't surprised. When I called she said "Well, when are you due, next week?" Ahem. I'm not quite that bad. Almost maybe. But everything's fine, so far. She will test my sugar in three weeks, which I know is my weak area, so I just try to avoid it.
Everybody in the house-yes, even the boys-is determined that this baby SHALL BE a girl. I think I am the only one who thinks that if it is a boy it won't be that bad. :) I finally got Rand to even talk about boy names the other night, as if having a name on hand could open the possibility of this baby being a boy where it wouldn't otherwise. We (well, he, as there is only one name he is willing to consider) finally decided on a boy name, while the girl name has been picked for.. umm.. years? :)

Boys. They are a lot of work. Mine sometimes remind me of marauding little savages running through the house. And it isn't the same if you only have one. Sorry, but it just isn't. Forrest was a breeze, when he was the only boy among all my girls. But get two or three of them together, well that's just another thing. The competition over territory, the energy, the fight for supremacy.. It's just something else. I was brought up with one sister. Watching these little guys is just kind of a fascination.. Like another planet.

Friday, August 1, 2008

We finally have a pet! Haha. Forrest found this beautiful guy under the wood pile outside. He's a Hobo spider, a relative of the brown recluse. The kids put him in a jar because they were so convinced that Mrs. Darling and especially Peter would appreciate being able to say hello to him. I'm not quite as sure the gesture will be appreciated, but for now the jar is in my kitchen, he is being fed flies and every time I reach for a plate.... there he is on the shelf. :)

Thursday, July 24, 2008


As a 1930s wife, I am
Very Superior

Take the test!

This was on a newsletter our mortgage guy sends out and it cracked me up.

"I have always been among those who believed that the greatest
freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking" Woodrow T. Wilson

Thursday, July 17, 2008

This has been about the busiest summer we have ever had. I have started to post a few times, but then get called to do something else, put it in drafts, and by the time I come back it seems outdated.
We went to visit friends at the coast for the 4th. Here's Owen looking mighty pleased with his hotdog...

There was a lot of smoke owing to the multitude of campfires and illegal fireworks. That is, illegal in Oregon, but not in Washington, which makes the law rather mute. I think babykin's eyes are bothering him a little.

There was a birthday party for Grandma...

A wedding...

None of those kids are mine, but I thought that was a pretty nice picture of Luke doing a back flip.. Or something..

Softball games, and water ballon fights following...

A birthday party for Elisa..

Whew.. And there were a couple other birthday parties that we didn't get pictures at.. It's been a good summer. It gets hot for a couple days at a time and then cools off, Hubby has been working on remodeling the bathroom, the yard is starting to take shape the way I want it too, all in all there's a lot to be thankful for.

What has your summer been like?

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Marbel tagged me:

The rules:1. Post the rules at the beginning.2. Answer the questions only about yourself.3. At the end of the post, tag five people and post their names, then go to their blogs and leave them a comment so they know they’ve been tagged. Ask them to read the sender's blog.4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.

So, OK, here we go...

What were you doing five years ago?

Living in Sellwood, ( I miss Sellwood. Especially in the summer..) in Portland. It will be 5 years for us at RCC next month, so I guess we would be in our first year there.. Noah would be the baby,probably pregnant with Zeke? (I haven't had coffee yet so my math isn't so good) homeschooling, diapers, mostly the same stuff just different house and different baby.

What are five things on your to-do list for today?

Phonics with the boys
Clean the basement
Make bread (hopefully)
Hopefully work on teaching Elisa to sew. She has a dress she is working on and Shay is out of town so there is no school for the girls this week..

What are five snacks you enjoy?

Chips and salsa
Ice cream
Carrots and ranch dip
Anything chocolate
Anything coffee

What are five things you would do if you were a billionaire? Oh, goodness.. Um..

I would really like to adopt at least a couple kids
Get a bigger house, with more yard for my boys
Get an RV and travel around the US with the kids. Let them see all the really awesome things in this country and meet interesting people
Help people in real life I know could use the help
Make the investments in my kids' education I would like to make, like a nice auto cad program for Forrest and art supplies, stuff like that

What are five of your bad habits?

Spider solitaire
I don't follow rules well
Hate, hate doing paperwork
Snacking instead of sitting and eating real food

What are five places where you have lived? Oh, now, this is gonna be boring.

Tacoma, Washington (as a kid)
Hillsboro, Oregon
Outer SE Portland, Oregon
Inner SE Portland, Oregon
Inner NW Portland, Oregon

Well, you get the idea. I haven't been very far from home. :)

What are five jobs you’ve had?
Courtesy clerk @ Safeway
Window washing
Muffin baker @ Great Harvest Bread Co.
Books @ Christian supply

I'm supposed to tag 5 people. Hmm.. Well, that looks like you. Tag, you're it. :) See, I never was very good at following rules. :)

Monday, June 30, 2008

Here are a couple pictures of Zeke and his cast. This is when it was all bright and new, though. The doctor did say he could walk on it, but I think he underestimated how much walking a busy little boy can do! In a week and a half it was worn through on the bottom and the bandages were hanging out the sides, kind of looked like the lepers in old Biblical movies looked. :) So finally Rand decided to cut the thing off, about a week early and we just made him stay in shoes all the time to keep his foot still. Well, praise God, he went to the doctor and they said it heald up nicely, so that little tauma in his little life is over.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Stacy McDonald at Your Sacred Calling has posted an article by another writer, Sonny Scott. It highlights a quirk of human nature that I have been mulling over in my mind lately, but he talks about it so much more directly than I could have. Specifically, how we human beings have tendency to resent those who have done a better job at something than we ourselves. In this case he's talking about home schoolers, but it certainly isn't homeschooling alone that brings this out in people. Take housekeeping for example. Isn't amazing how resentful we women can be about other women who are good housekeepers? "Well, I decided that being a good mother is more important than being a good housekeeper." "She must be really uptight." "I'm just a more creative person than that." Even down to buying a plaque for our walls that say "A clean house is a sign of a sick mind." Oh good grief. Probably the reason her house is clean is because she makes it a priority and works at it!

When I first discovered homeschooling, I couldn't believe everybody wouldn't want to do it. I could see children being liberated in droves, schools emptying like a public pool when summer vacation is over. I talked about it with a lot of enthusiasm to anyone with ears. Pretty soon I did have to realize that this "good news" was not always well received by everyone. The very fact that I saw any fault with the status quo was interpreted by some as having a judgemental attitude. I'm not saying this is true of everyone who decided to do something different from me, but those who had to smear my character whether mentally or vocally to justify their own position.

I've also noticed that those who do this are most likely the ones who for whatever reason are unhappy with the way their children have turned out. Usually if people are content with their decisions and happy with the results they don't have to grudge someone else being happy with their own as well. If I'm financially content, I don't have to be envious of someone else's good fortunes, I am free to rejoice with those who rejoice. But if I am secretly (or maybe not so secretly) harboring regrets, envy, resentment or whatever, I probably won't be able to be genuinely happy for my neighbor when he gets a new boat. Just the same, if I am feeling defensive or unhappy with my children and how they've turned out, than when someone else's kid is doing impressive things, had a good relationship with his parents and tucks in his shirt tails to boot... Well..

Often it is just so easy rather than to face my own failings it is much easier just to lash out with criticism at the other. "Just look at that smile. There's pride in there somewhere." "They think they are better than the rest of us." "They've made an idol out of their family." "They are most certainly judging me." (Probably they spend a lot less time thinking about me than I think!) We would all be a lot better off if we knew how to graciously be happy for other people, acknowledge God's sovereignty and get over it!

Now I'm not talking about people who make different decisions. There are complexities to people's decisions that we may not be familiar with. It isn't up to any of us, unless it's in our sphere of power, to make a full assessment of what other people are doing. At least not the areas where there is Biblical liberty-not out and out sin, of course. We don't really always know the heart motives involved. Though I AM a firm believer in examining the fruits we see in areas, such as educational choices, and make decisions based on what we observe. That we all must do.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Don't let me take up your time. Go read the article.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Why have I not posted in so long? I don't know. I get out of the habit I guess. I wish I had a set time to sit down and post each day, but I don't. I have to catch the computer when I can, and hope there is something in my head to say. Sometimes I wonder why I keep the blog, but it really isn't because I have such a ton of profound stuff to say anyway, or because my life is all that interesting, but because it is nice if even occasionally I get to "get about" and touch base with all of you. :)

Lately I've been jumping about to a lot of "crafty mom" blogs. I admire women who don't just get the job done in being a housewife and mom but really make an art form of it. It's inspiring. I love to look at brightly colored fabrics and cute decorating ideas and such. Here are some of my favorites.. All Sorts (my daughters like this one too), Portabellopixie (a fabric designer to make me drool, drool, drool. Especially her new Farmer's Market line.), HELLOmynameisHeather, (More luscious fabric. Where do I rob a bank so I can get me yards and yards of this stuff?) Turkey Feathers, and Block-a-Day, because I love quilts. At least these are the blogs I've added to my favorites folder, but what I really like to do is go to one with a long list of links and scuttle all over the place and drool over the creative, beautiful things these women do and dream of being able to do them too. And I probably would if I didn't waste so bloody much time on the computer! I love all the needle arts, too. Embroidery, quilting, knitting, crochet. But usually when I get around to sitting down to doing something it is of a more practical turn of mind. Shay needs a good all around the house type denim skirt, I have a blouse cut out for Elisa of some fabric the neighbor lady gave me, bloomers are needed by all the girls-but Shayleen. She is past bloomer age now. Doesn't go down the slide at the park so much anymore... I do have a scrap quilt that I've been working on for Irene, but its been going for 2 years now. She always seems to need play jumpers more. I am knitting a sweater for Joseph. I have failed at everything I've knitted beyond scarves. I swore it off earlier this year. But I have been sick so much this last couple months I just wanted something I could sit and do with my hands and not feel like I was being idle. I hate to feel like I'm being idle. So I'm making him this sweater, and hoping I get done in time for it to fit him in the fall.
I guess if I don't it can be for the next baby. But I think I will get it done.
Also, completely on a different subject, I found this video via Large Family Mothering encouraging Germans to have more children. Interesting, huh?
Well, I better go tend to mine.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.


Monday, June 9, 2008

Last Saturday my oldest three got to go fly in airplanes with another family in our church...

It was a 2 hour wait-good thing they brought cards..

F. buckling up

From the sky..

S. and her friend going up..

At one point they called us because F. was passing over our house. It was fun for the little kids to be able to go out and wave.
I was wondering if F. would come home wanting to be a pilot. But no, it was fun, but he didn't seem to want to make it a career option. And E. got air sick (just a little) so I guess that's out for her too. Just kidding.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Legalist: Someone who disapproves of something I feel at liberty to do.

Liberal: Someone who does something I don't feel at liberty to do.


Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Praise God, Z. get back from the foot doctor today and all he has is a cast. YES! Maybe the doctor was just trying to prepare us for the worst, I don't know. Well, I am relieved, anyway. It's a snazzy glow in the dark one too. He doesn't know the import of it now, but Sunday when he gets lots of attention for it he will know it is no small thing to be a little boy with a cast. :) I've got to get S. to take some pictures for me.

Today though we are all down with the flu. Judging by the status updates on Facebook, our entire church is down with the flu. I'm a little afraid to go to church Sunday, come to think of it. Our church values community. And one of the BIG ways we have of expressing community is in the sharing of whatever sicknesses there are going around. It seems like if one person gets something, we all do.

Here are some more pictures of graduation.. Mrs. Darling's Tink being funny.
S. on stage listening to another girl give her talk. For some reason I can't get the words and pictures lined up right. Grr.
Well, the kids here are watching dancing and behind them is one of the tables that they set up to display all their interests and accomplishments over the years. That's one bad thing about me not being real sentimental or a pack rat-I tend to throw everything away. But we did manage to come up with a reasonable amount of pictures, anyway..
Then Saturday, my oldest three got to go ride in airplanes with our good friends who have a son (The one in the white shirt, actually) who is studying to be a pilot. But I think I will post about that later because I'm starting to feel tired and flu-ish. Goodnight.

Monday, June 2, 2008

S. had her graduation ceremony last Friday night. Here she is singing her song... (She thought singing a song seemed less scary that giving a speech.)

We gave a little talk and gave her her diploma...
With one of her friends who was also graduating..
And what RCC event would be complete without a dance?

Mrs. Darling got to come as well, and it was a lot of fun to have her there with her daughter Tink. Since my camera had broken down we gave her one for her graduation gift. With the stipulation that she has to let us use it from time to time.

Well, the party is done with and now she can look ahead to the next phases of her life. :)

Saturday, May 31, 2008

I would really appreciate if you all would pray for our little guy, Zeke. Last week he was playing with his brother and fell funny on his foot. It's been giving him pain off and on all week so my husband took him to get an x-ray yesterday and today they called us and told us that it looks like he has a fracture. There's also some unclarity in the x-ray and there's even talk about surgery.

This last year just seems like one bamboozle after another. We had a baby in September last year and we pay our midwife out of pocket. Soon after my husband's back went out and was out of work for a few weeks and then there were chiropractor bills. We had a major financial loss with my husband's business due to a conflict with a client. Now he is taking us to court to get more money out of us. Our son cut his hand open carving and we had to take him in for stitches. There have been difficulties in personal relationships. Any of these things in themselves, we could recover from, but every time we start to get our feet back under us another thing happens.

It gets to where I've started feeling jumpy all the time, wondering what could be next.

I don't care anymore. If God wants us to be able to pay our bills, they will get paid. If He doesn't, they won't. I'm tired of feeling guilty, wondering if I hadn't done this or that. I don't care what people think anymore. I'm tired of trying to handle things right and then have them fall apart anyway.

This might sound pessimistic, but actually, I'm feeling relieved. Nothing is in my hands. I can't do anything about anything. Not try to find a cheaper house, not feel guilty because I feel like I should be selling stuff on Ebay or finding some way to make money to pay the bills. Not wonder about how the things I've said or done or tried to do are interpreted by others. I'm just done with it all.

I want to be a good wife and mother. Dare I say, even a godly one? I try hard some days and some days I belly-flop in major ways. I think I know something and then I don't. I want to have high standards and I'm happier with my life when I do. I don't believe my inadequacies are an excuse not to try. But somewhere there is a line where I just have to give it all to God and hope in His mercy. That's all I really ever had anyway.

I'm going to go clean the kitchen. :)

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Roberta asked what calls to me about Texas.
Anyone who knows me would probably not expect me to start talking and thinking about moving to Texas. Montana, Idaho, Washington, yeah.. But Texas? And all the areas we are thinking about are city areas. Fort Worth, Katy, and a little bit, San Antonio, though I think we've pretty much ruled that out. I've always wanted to live in the country. For years I schemed and plotted and searched real estate ads. Had my poor husband drive all over the blessed world to check out this area and that...

Well, really, the same ideals that I wanted to move to the country for are the same ones that get me thinking about Texas. Property values in our area are pretty high. No, not as bad as California but still, higher than is comfortably attainable by a single income, large-ish family. We do have our own house, and I don't mean to make it sound like we just can't make it here, that's not true. But it has always been pretty much month to month. My husband is self employed and he has always worked very long hours. He comes home tired most of the time and doesn't have a lot of energy left to give the kids and I. I feel like if we could move to where the cost of living is lower we would be able to afford a larger house for less money, and maybe it would help to free him up. This is true of Texas. Here is an example of what about $150,000 will buy in the Fort Worth area.

Any of you who are familiar with real estate around here know that if you search for $150,000 in the Portland metro area or anywhere even remotely close you will come up with condos. And either they won't be in the best neighborhoods or they will be very, very small. There is just no comparison!

So that is a big draw. But also, there is a church in that area that looks (on the surface) to be pretty doctrinally close to us and is affiliated with our denomination, the Confederation of Reformed Evangelicals, which is really important to us. This one, Heritage Covenant Church looks like one that we could find ourselves fitting into. S. especially approved when she saw that there appears to be dancing. :) She really enjoys the contra-country type dancing that they do in the Jane Austin movies.

So this is a little of what we are mulling over. I can hear what you're thinking... "But it's so hot" I KNOW that's what you're thinking! And I can't deny that concerns me. We are talking about not selling our house here but if we do this (and this is all daydreaming and mulling and internet snooping and nothing further so far.) we will rent for a couple years and see if we can take the heat. :) Maybe we'll find a house with a pool.

Except you, Mrs. Darling. I already know what you think. :) But you know, Fort Worth is right by Dallas and Dallas is supposed to be some sort of shopping Mecca, so you could come visit me and we could just go shopping for days on end. :)

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

This video at Vision Forum is just too precious to miss! Especially for us who are raising young sons. May God grant us all the wisdom to bring up such sweet little gentlemen!

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Before we made a theological change and started going to the church we are in now, we went to a church called Beaverton Foursquare. The pastor we had there, Ron Mehl, passed away a few years ago from lukemia and shortly after that the local radio station which had previously played his sermons every weekday morning stopped. That was sad to me because it was pretty much a mainstay of my day to listen to Pastor Ron. He was always such a gentle and kind spirited man, but I never felt like he was compromising. Some people can just fit so much more into a quiet word. He always seemed to have a humble authority about him.

Anyway, I'm so happy that KPDQ has decided to air his sermons again. I probably know most of them pretty well anyway, but I'll be so glad to start my day to his voice again!

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Last week S. had a singing recital. She's been taking voice lessons from one of the girls at church and she really enjoys it.
Here are some videos of her songs, which I don't really expect anyone to watch them all. The video quality is horrid. All we have is our digital camera and you can't use the flash on the videos, so they are very dark. And the jiggle all over, but what can you expect from your 14yr old brother? Anyway, here they are for posterity's sake. :):

"Se Tu Ma'mi": (Which F. does NOT like because he thinks it sounds like "Say to Mommy" which would just be wierd.)

"Tonight": (she has a lot of trouble hitting those low notes.)

and "Lacia Choi Pianga". I have no idea what that means. I guess she could tell you if you asked... But it is my favorite of the three.

Well, she did a pretty good job, and I'm proud of my girl. But mostly I'm not proud of her for her voice, which is nice, and I enjoy hearing her sing. I think it will be really nice for her in her life to be able to sing well and all that. But mostly I'm proud of her that she has the guts to get up in front of her church family, which includes a lot of dear supportive friends, but some critics as well, and do it. When I was her age, it would have been over my dead cold body before I would have done something like that!

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

What type of Mother Hen Are You?
by Educational Resource

I saw this at Joyce's.
Pretty funny.. I'll have to ask my kids if they think I'm groovy. :)

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Does anyone read this blog from Texas? Just curious...

I have been doing a lot of sewing lately. I wanted to take pictures but the camera is broken. :( And I just bought it batteries too. Isn't that ingratitude for ya?

I made E. a really sweet dress out of a daisy fabric. She is 12 now and at that twixt and tween age for buying clothes. Nothing in the children sections fits because they are all to short, but she isn't big enough to fit in the women's' petites yet. So that leaves the *gag* juniors' section. Which is about the same thing as saying there are simply no clothes being offered in her size. So I'm sewing.

I really try to keep my girls looking feminine and sweet. All too often it seems that the discussion of girls clothes falls directly to what is modest and what isn't and a groping for rules about hemlines, dresses or not, etc. But I think if we leave it at that, then we are missing something. I really try to achieve a sweet, girly look in my girls. When people look at them, I want them to be reminded of wholesomeness, sweetness, femininity.. I want my girls to look like they are happy to be girls! Have you ever noticed that even when the clothes at the department stores are decent as far as modesty goes, the look of the clothes can be anything but simply pretty or sweet? One day S. and I wear walking around a store and I commented how the clothes are all so clunky and thrashed looking, they make you look like you just crawled out from under a car. S. said "Yeah, it's like they are trying to tell the world that they are tough and nothing can hurt them."

Isn't that the truth? What is it about ruffles and pretty floral prints that make girls feel vulnerable? How many times have you heard a girl (or woman) talk about she just isn't a girly girl, she doesn't go for frilly things, etc. Why do you think that is?

I know I was like that as a girl. I wore sweats or jeans everyday. I never wore anything that was remotely feminine. It's something I have to work on myself with because it doesn't come naturally. But I am trying to teach my girls better.

It was beautiful weather for a few days, but today we are back to the rain. Well, at least the little boys have had a few days outside!

Saturday, May 17, 2008

I am thinking-hoping-that life is settling down now. :)

One thing I try to instill in my boys is that they are to be protectors/defenders of the innocent and those who are smaller and weaker than them. The best way to practice this virtue is at home, on their sisters and younger siblings.

So the other day I had to pull one of the little boys into the bathroom for a 'talk' because he had hit babykins when babykins had done something displeasing to him. After we had 'talked' for a bit, he was crying and I was asking him a few questions.

"Do you want to be a good, gentle, helping big brother? Or a mean, bullying, hurting big brother?"

Sniffle, sob, choke "a good, gentle helping big brother."

"Do you want to be a knight and a prince?"


"Huh? Why not?"

Fresh renewal of sob and tears..

"Because that would be marrying, and marrying is GROOOSSSS!"

Hmmmm..... Can you think of a way around that one?

And something I want to know. Why do the kids get all the cute shoes? I love these:

and these:

and these.

from my Garnet Hill catalog.

But they only come in kids' sizes. Does this seem right? I ask you.

And speaking of kids, and babies and shoes, I guess I have an announcement to make. But I'll letcha'all guess, because I suppose it isn't that hard. No, I guess it doesn't really have too much to do with shoes, except that I'll want comfortable ones in the months ahead...

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

I had a very important discussion with O. the other day.

O: What does paint taste like?
Me: Bad.
O: Does yellow paint taste different from green paint?
Me: They both taste bad.
O: But a different kind of bad? Or the same kind of bad.
Me: I think the same kind of bad. I don't think the color changes the taste.
O: Is the paint I paint on paper with the same kind Papa is painting the house with?
Then I explained that no, they are not the same kind. Paints are different by what is used to make them spread around. Some spread around with water, some with oil, some with other things. What makes them spread around is probably mostly what makes the way they taste, etc. By the time we arrived at church he seemed to be pretty much satisfied that he had gotten the whole scoop.

I think one of the most important things we can do is talk with our kids and take their questions seriously. Do our best to give them direct, honest answers (keeping in mind their age and ability to handle some information) and not just brush them aside. This is a way of earning their trust, so that when they do have some more serious things they may need to talk about, they won't think they will be brushed aside. This takes time. It takes paying attention. But I think it is one of the most important investments we can make.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Sometimes life is just not bloggable!

Well, I wonder if there is even anyone left around here. :) Oh well.
Nothing has changed much really anyway. The weather is still pretty rainy and cold, though the sun did break out for a couple days. I'm still teaching the boys and S. is still teaching the girls. S. will be having her graduation at the end of May, but she is a little dismayed at some of the cultural differences that are part of the ceremony. They want to walk up to the stage to a Journey song. Anybody remember Journey? I have to laugh. I thought they were dorky when I was a kid! Shh. Don't tell anyone I said that.

I guess we just have different tastes. S. and I always go on these different music kicks where we will listen to one band or genre of music for a while until we drive F. crazy and then eventually we move on. Right now it's this band:

I just love them! And they are all one family-8 siblings. I wish I could get my computer speakers piped downstairs because this is definitely fast housecleaning music!

Well, anyway, that's a quick update with us. I hope all is going well for you too!

And I'll try to be better about updating. Really.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I guess this isn't new, but I thought it was pretty funny and worth posting... Since I don't really have anything intelligent to say anyway...

Saturday, April 12, 2008

I hadn't heard about this movie until seeing following the link on Roberta's blog. It definately looks like one to make a point to go see. And I haven't gone to the theater since 'The Little Mermaid" came out, so that's saying something! (Hmmm.. maybe there's a connection there...)

Here's the trailer.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

What dog breed are you? I'm a Labrador Retriever! Find out at

Got this from Joyce

Though I have my doubts. I'm not sure I have enough energy to be a labrador. I think I'm more like a basset hound...

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Men are from mars....

The other day Fi and O were playing wedding. For the most part, Fi was directing the whole thing. "Now you stand here, we walk down here, you see the flowers in my hair.." etc. etc.

O who had been pretty quiet and compliant through the whole thing finally had to put his own spin in there.

"And then you looked down and saw my sword, and it was covered with blood."

Friday, April 4, 2008

OK, you Knuckle Draggers. This is news reporting in Canada. How long until this is considered "fair and unbiased" in the US?

Keep your heads up.

From small dead animals.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

O Bama nation
O Bama nation
O Bama nation
O Bama nation

Say it five times fast.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Spring is here. At least that's what the calender tells me. But today it has been snowing. Not enough to stick, just enough to keep everything sloppy, wet and cold. I walked up to the store today to pick up a few things, planning to get home and do the paperwork that has been hanging over my head like a wet, depressing, fog. I know I'll feel so much better once I get it done, but somehow I keep thinking of other things I need to do first. Grocery shopping, dishes, and hey, I haven't undated my blog in a while. Truly. When I'm done with this I will go and get started on it. Ugh.

I've been so tired lately. Maybe I have the residue of the cold/cough thing that seemed to linger over us for the past couple months. But I don't feel very motivated to do anything. I'd like to just turn the telly on and sink into mindlessness. It seems like I always mosey to the computer when I'm tired. Ya'all probably think I'm always tired!

I saw at Marbel's site a meme I thought was pretty good. It was from site and invites us to share our thoughts on this quote:

"Clearly there is an appropriate kind of sheltering. When those who are opposed to homeschooling accuse me of sheltering my children, my reply is always, 'What are you going to accuse me of next, feeding and clothing them?" ~R.C. Sproul Jr

That always kind of strikes me as kind of a "duh" moment, when people accuse me of sheltering my children. Of course I'm sheltering my children! Haven't they kind of noticed that this culture is just eating children alive? If I don't protect them, who will?

I'm protecting them from bullying, abusive teachers, over zealous social workers, and math phobias. I'm also sheltering them from having to walk top the bus in the cold morning, that noisy, obnoxious bus ride itself, classrooms with no windows, cafeteria food, and most especially, the gym locker room. From not having time to read the books you want to because your teacher said you HAVE to read Flowers for Algernon. (A most depressing book.) From the sinking fear that comes over you on Sunday night because you realize you are having a quiz in the morning and you completely forgot. The humiliation of having a teacher berate you in front of your whole class because you haven't figured out how to borrow in math. Hiding under the bleachers during PE because the boys in your class play dodge ball rather roughly and it scares you. And especially those politically motivated movies about global catastrophes like global warming, nuclear war and the clubbing of seals in Canada. From kids who thrash on other kids to hide their own insecurities, and from BECOMING one of those kids.

Yeah, I guess I shelter my children a little.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Karen @ Engstrom Family has certainly been coming up with some good videos lately. This one is an absolute treasure. This woman know what it's all about!

Friday, March 14, 2008

We are the Pirates who don't do anything!!!!

No, wait-

We are the candidates who don't believe anything!!!!!!!

Yeah-that's it.

Found this at the Anchoress. I thought it was rather funny.

It's late in the winter of 2005. Hillary and Obama are having lunch in the Senate Dining Room, brainstorming campaign ideas to pitch to the Democratic National Committee.
Obama: Why don't they have salsa on the table?
Hillary: What do you need salsa for?
Obama: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.
Hillary: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa." "Excuse me, do you have salsa?" "We need more salsa." "Where is the salsa? No salsa?"
Obama: You know it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa. (Angry) "I wanted seltzer, not salsa."
Hillary: "Don't you know the difference between seltzer and salsa?? You have the seltzer after the salsa!"
Obama: (Just throwing it out there): This should be the campaign.
Hillary: What?
Obama: This. Just arguing. Arguing about nothing.
Hillary (Dismissing): Yeah, right.
Obama: No I'm serious. That sounds like a good idea.
Hillary: Just arguing? What's the campaign about?
Obama: It's about nothing.
Hillary: No real policies?
Obama: No, forget the policies.
Hillary: You've got to have policies.
Obama: Who says you gotta have policies? Remember when we were voting for... for that Senate resolution that proclaimed 'making good people feel good is a good thing' that time? That could be a whole presidential campaign.
Hillary: And who is running in this campaign about nothing? Who are the candidates?
Obama: I could be a candidate.
Hillary: You?
Obama: Yeah. You could run for President as a woman who is not really a woman, except when you cry, and I could run for President as a black man who is not really a black man, except when I go to church. Democrats would buy it. They really would. They're Democrats!
Hillary: So, on my campaign trail in 2008, there's a candidate following me around named Barack Hussein Obama?
Obama: Yeah. There's something wrong with that? I'm candidential. People are always saying to me, "You know you're a quite a candidate."
Hillary: And who else is on the campaign trail in this campaign about nothing?
Obama: That poof Edwards could be a candidate. Kucinich....
Hillary: Now he's a candidate..... So everybody I know is a candidate in the campaign?
Obama: Right.
Hillary: And it's about nothing?
Obama: Absolutely nothing.
Hillary: So you're saying, I go in to the DNC, and tell them I got this idea for a campaign about nothing.
Obama: WE go into the DNC.
Hillary: "We"? Since when are you experienced enough?
Obama (Scoffs): Experience. We're talking to Democrats.
Hillary: You want to go with me to the DNC?
Obama: Yeah. I think we really go something here.
Hillary: What do we got?
Obama: A concept.
Hillary: What concept?
Obama: A concept for a winning presidential campaign.
Hillary: I still don't know what the concept is!
Obama: It's a campaign about HOPE AND CHANGE. It's about nothing!
Hillary: Right. Who does HOPE and who does CHANGE?
Obama: I'll do HOPE and CHANGE because I can do nothing about them. You can do EXPERIENCE because you don't really have any. All these Republican candidates are going to campaign on something. We'll campaign on nothing!
Hillary: So, we go into the DNC, we tell them we've got an idea for a campaign about nothing.
Obama: Exactly.
Hillary: They say, "What's your campaign about?" I say, "Nothing."
Obama: There you go.
Hillary (After a moment of pause): I think you may have something there.

I especially like the part about "that poof Edwards." HEHEH

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Well we are back up and running. :) The old computer seems pretty shot but some kind friends had mercy on us and gave us one of theirs. So, we get buy with a little help...

S. has one of her best chums over for a few days this week and they stayed up late watching movies so I have a bit of time this morning to put something up here. They have been eagerly awaiting a new Stargate movie coming out and wanted to all go to the theater together to watch it. Well, as it turns out it wasn't coming to the theaters, only DVD, so after recovering from their disappointment they decided to get the DVD and watch it on the big screen in the basement. And S. and Bethany slept down there-WITH THE HOBOS!!!!(spiders, that is-not the human type.) (Mrs. D. tell Tink they slept down there with the Hobos! I haven't checked to see if they were eaten yet..)

We have a sort of family rule that we can't do anything or like anything that is super, super popular. My dad says we are "reverse snobs". So everything we like is sort of the underdog type things. But the down side of that is that the bands we like hardly ever come, the movies we like only come out on DVD etc. *sigh* Oh well.. We still aren't going to do anything popular. So there!

The weather has been beautiful lately. I love spring in Oregon. I took some pictures of the boys playing outside but I have to figure out how to load onto this thing. Or I'll ask the kids to figure it out. They seem to have a much better instinct for these kinds of things. The cherry trees are blooming and the daphne which is so lovely. I love it when I go on walks and suddenly I can smell that sweet, sweet smell and I think "Oh, there must be daphne about" and sure enough, I look around and there it is.

Tonight there is a music performance thingy at church. My little girls are all singing in the girl's choir, F. is playing guitar and S. is singing a solo. I get so nervous when my children are going to perform something. I think it is harder on me than them! What is it about that? I'm so afraid of them messing up and taking it hard. But they also seem a lot more able to cope with those sorts of things than I was when I was a kid. I guess they have less of that peer dependency which made me so anxious that I would be made fun of when I did something in front of my friends. S. worries about where to put her eyes, though. She's afraid that if she looks at any of us in her family we will make her laugh. Now why would we do that? She has been working so hard on her song. Ack! I hope it all goes well.

I'm so thankful that our church has been such an aid to us in the musical education of our children because if it were dependant on R. and I it would have been sadly lacking. Music and sports. F. would never have learned the rules to basketball if it were up to us. But in our church my children have had the opportunity to learn violin, piano, guitar and voice so far. Hilary is wrong about it taking a village. It takes a family-and a church. :)

I'm hoping to get E. a mandolin. Then I would have a fiddle player (well, in years to come, Fi. is just starting on violin.) a guitar player, a singer, and we would about have a bluegrass band. Now, wouldn't that be fun? We have been listening to a lot of Nickle Creek lately. Sarah Watkin's voice reminds me of S's and we really like it. We saw them when they were just kids-I think Sarah was about 16, though that was about 7 years ago. Now they are getting pretty well known, at least in bluegrass circles, though they aren't strictly bluegrass.

Well, I guess now I will tootle around and see what is up with all of you. If I can. I am hearing signs of life downstairs...

Oh, if you need a little laugh, check out this video Karen has linked @ her blog. I wanna do it, like at Pioneer Square or even better, Saturday Market downtown! Wouldn't that be a kick?

Saturday, March 8, 2008

Have you ever heard the Bob Dylan song "Everything is Broken"? It's the story of my life. Including my computer right now. So I'm at the library.


Friday, March 7, 2008

S. has demanded that I post today. Heheh. I guess I'd better comply. She looked pretty stern. Well, I don't really know why I haven't, just busy, I guess.Last week O. was upstairs jumping on his little brother's bed. I told him "Get off Z.'s bed and come downstairs." Well, he did obey about the coming downstairs part but not about getting off Z's bed. That is he decided to slide down the stairs on Z's mattress. Unfortunately his forethought ended at the bottom stair and failed to take into account the bookshelves that are about a foot or two out from the stairs. The mattress came to an abrupt halt but O. went flying and smacked into the corner of the bookcase. Ugh.The blood didn't really start for a second or two and then he moved and it just started pouring. He started screaming and yelling "I'm dying I'm dying, somebody call an ambulance I'm dying!" Poor guy, I guess it is pretty scary to see all that blood. Well, we got him with a towel and called R. to pick me up some skin glue and such and we pasted him all back together. Had to put a few spare parts back, but he seems OK, only twitches a little bit. :)

See, he's back to normal. :)

Also I finally read the book Crunchy Cons by Rod Dreher. I kind of wasn't really excited about reading it at first but a friend recommended it so I thought I'd give it a try. I was really pleased with it and liked it a whole lot better than I thought I would. It had a lot more depth to it than I thought. I guess I was kind of suspicious that it would be a sort of massage on the conscience of those who would really like to bow to the left on environmental type issues and so forth but can't leave their free market sensibilities, if that makes any sense. Or that it would have that kind of self righteous legalistic tone that sometimes comes from the agrarian side of the Cristian homeschooling group. I just didn't feel like I wanted to take time with either of those scenarios. But it was actually quite refreshing and not legalistic in it's tone at all. I'd like to get my own copy of it, if I can find it used, cheap somewhere. :)

Before I read it though, S. stole it and read it in a couple hours. (I used to not believe her when she said she read books that way, so I asked her questions and she could always answer.. so well.. It kind of reminds me of the way Agustas Gloop eats chocolate in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, the way that girl reads books.) When she was done I asked her what she thought and she said "Well, it was all pretty much the way I was raised." I guess it is that way because I think in Oregon Republicans just do tend to be more "crunchy" than the way they may be in say, Texas or something. But I thought it was really interesting and fleshed out a lot of the lines I've been thinking on.
The trick to this sort of thing, though, is not to make it a creed type of thing. You know, like the way certain groups all start imposing certain rules of the group on each other-like say you are in a certain group of homeschoolers and they all bake their own bread and if you don't it's kind of looked upon as a betrayal of the creed of the group? Or I remember during Y2K it almost looked like you were questioning the book of Revelation or something if you weren't saving up food.
Isn't that such a gracious approach? I remember once RC Sproul Jr said that writing a defence for reading to your children was like writing a defense for butterflies. (In a book catalog) Who wouldn't want to? Who wouldn't want to turn off the TV and spend a little time with your kids, go to a farm and eat a fresh tomato, spend more time just together as a family and a worship community?
Well, as I was going to Rod Dreher's blog to check how to spell his name, I saw this troubling post, and was reminded who wouldn't want us to do these things-teacher's unions aren't real thrilled at the idea. I hadn't heard anything about this. Better pray for the homeschoolers in California.

Monday, February 18, 2008

I am so, so tired. Sleep is this elusive thing these days. At night when the rest of the family is watching a movie (Lately though, the Jeeves and Wooster series) I can't stay awake for it and I always fall asleep. But then about 12:30, 1:00 *bing*! I'm awake. Wide awake and my mind gets going. Sometimes I lie there and worry about elections. But most of the time I just think about stuff. Lots of stuff. I try to stop thinking. I say "OK, one, two, three, stop thinking." Then I lie there and think about not thinking. Can a person not think?

I worry about the kids. When R. and I had S. back when, I was sure I could be the most perfectest mom ever. I wanted so much to raise a bunch of really godly warrior children for Christ. That would go out and take on this dying culture. They would be better prepared than I was to face the onslaught of deathly ideas. I wanted them to have a clear straight eye and confidence in their step. (I still do.) I remember when we had just found out that I was pregnant with #5. Our pastor (Not at our current church) asked us rather incredulously, "So, how many of these do you think you'll have? I mean, how many do you think you can afford?" I felt so sad and discouraged at that. If we had been called onto the mission field, I'm sure he would have been the first to encourage us to have faith and watch for the Lord to provide. But having a family and raising them for the Lord wasn't seen as a "calling" and therefore not a work of faith. But I was sure God would see our desire to please and serve Him and would see us through. And He has, thus far.

I need to keep reminding myself of these things. It is harder to be optimistic and have that faith when you get older, I notice. You are so much more aware of all the things that could go wrong. And all the effort involved. And how limited you are. I worry about making wrong desicions. I worry about the kids not really learning to know the Lord. I know how deceptive sin can be. I worry about them not having a passion to guide their own families to come and that all our efforts would be lost. I know so much better now that it is all God's grace and no effort of my own that will give them real salvation and power for Christ on this earth, and I am so much more familiar with the fact of how little I deserve any of His interest. I worry about my own physical limits. I worry about plain getting tired. I worry about R. and how hard he works. We have put so much into just raising a family and making it day to day. I wonder where we will be in 20 years.

I guess though, learning to be optimistic in the face of real fears is faith. Not the blase, "oh, it will be OK" but knowing that life really does have it's risks, and that God is the God of them all.

And now, the baby is crying, and the kids are sick. And that's "the next thing" (as Elisabeth Elliot would say.)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Well, I've been trying to limit my computer time because we're still trying to find the time to replace the hard drive. But I had to get on today looking for contractor law stuff so I might as well pop by and type something here...


Are you doing anything for Valentines? I learned a long time ago not to put too much expectation on days being remembered by R. Because they usually aren't. Then I would be miserable and one day it came to me that I'm always most miserable on my birthday or Valentines-why? Because he never really does anything for those days. And has my being miserable changes anything? No. So, why expect anything and be miserable? Why not expect nothing and just be at least as happy as any other day? So now I never expect anything. It would completely blow me away if he did do something. He's like me in that if he feel like somethings expected he's less likely to do it anyway. We work by contraries. Oh well, if I really want chocolate, I can pick out my own box.

Now I have to go up to Starbucks because I dropped my checkbook there yesterday when I took S. up for coffee. Sometimes I just have to get that girl out for a little walking and a dose of caffeine, or else she gets a little pale and limp. All the way there she was mumbling and sighing but by the time we started home she was talking and laughing, so I guess it was an hour well spent. But I hate having to go back up there today. Grrr....

Friday, February 8, 2008

I thought this video was hilarious. But you know, in all seriousness, there has been a lot of talk about change in Washington, and I couldn't agree more. I want more change from Washington too. I'm a big believer in change. I want lots of change.

You know, like..Keep the change, here's your change, change jingling in my pocket, lots of change in the change jar.. Lots of it, please?

Oh and what on earth does Hillary mean she embodies change? Is she like some sci-fi shape-shifter? Should we be afraid she might morph into something else on stage or something? It sounds painful!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Ok..well, my most astute political friend says it's better for the Republicans to wrap up their primary and let McCain start campaigning for the presidency and let the Dems have at scratching each other all to pieces.


But I can see the reason in that I guess.

So, you all can vote for McCain if you want.

I'm going to vote for Huckabee and hope he gets the VP.

Just between you and me I wasn't all that wild about Romney anyway...

Monday, February 4, 2008

Well, tomorrow is Super Tuesday. Does your state vote?

I know I listen to entirely too much talk radio. I listen to Michael Medved. He is convinced that the only Republican who can beat (especially) O Bama is McCain. I don't want McCain. For one thing, I think his temper alone is a big, big problem. The Bible is full of warnings about a man with a bad temper. I'm afraid of him bursting a gasket in a debate (especially with Obama since he's seen as a 'nice guy') and blowing the whole thing. I give the standard qualifiers as everyone who ever says they don't want McCain have to give: He'sagreatwarhero,Irepspecthisservice,IfheisthenomineeIwillvoteforhiminthegeneralelection.

But I won't be excited about it.

Among the other reasons I'm not excited about McCain is the McCain-Feingold campaign finance reform, the fact that he voted against George Bush's tax cuts, his opposition to drilling in ANWR, and he buys into the whole 'man-caused-global-warming' idea. He appeals to the centerists, but I doubt he will motivate the Republican base much. Unless he runs against Hilary, then I think everyone will be motivated no matter who the Republican nominee is.. But Obama..

I guess I'm pretty much left with Romney.

But mostly I'm feeling sick to my stomach...

But I'm keeping my Huckabee magnet on my fridge. Cause it makes me smile. :)