Friday, March 14, 2008

We are the Pirates who don't do anything!!!!

No, wait-

We are the candidates who don't believe anything!!!!!!!

Yeah-that's it.

Found this at the Anchoress. I thought it was rather funny.

It's late in the winter of 2005. Hillary and Obama are having lunch in the Senate Dining Room, brainstorming campaign ideas to pitch to the Democratic National Committee.
Obama: Why don't they have salsa on the table?
Hillary: What do you need salsa for?
Obama: Salsa is now the number one condiment in America.
Hillary: You know why? Because people like to say "salsa." "Excuse me, do you have salsa?" "We need more salsa." "Where is the salsa? No salsa?"
Obama: You know it must be impossible for a Spanish person to order seltzer and not get salsa. (Angry) "I wanted seltzer, not salsa."
Hillary: "Don't you know the difference between seltzer and salsa?? You have the seltzer after the salsa!"
Obama: (Just throwing it out there): This should be the campaign.
Hillary: What?
Obama: This. Just arguing. Arguing about nothing.
Hillary (Dismissing): Yeah, right.
Obama: No I'm serious. That sounds like a good idea.
Hillary: Just arguing? What's the campaign about?
Obama: It's about nothing.
Hillary: No real policies?
Obama: No, forget the policies.
Hillary: You've got to have policies.
Obama: Who says you gotta have policies? Remember when we were voting for... for that Senate resolution that proclaimed 'making good people feel good is a good thing' that time? That could be a whole presidential campaign.
Hillary: And who is running in this campaign about nothing? Who are the candidates?
Obama: I could be a candidate.
Hillary: You?
Obama: Yeah. You could run for President as a woman who is not really a woman, except when you cry, and I could run for President as a black man who is not really a black man, except when I go to church. Democrats would buy it. They really would. They're Democrats!
Hillary: So, on my campaign trail in 2008, there's a candidate following me around named Barack Hussein Obama?
Obama: Yeah. There's something wrong with that? I'm candidential. People are always saying to me, "You know you're a quite a candidate."
Hillary: And who else is on the campaign trail in this campaign about nothing?
Obama: That poof Edwards could be a candidate. Kucinich....
Hillary: Now he's a candidate..... So everybody I know is a candidate in the campaign?
Obama: Right.
Hillary: And it's about nothing?
Obama: Absolutely nothing.
Hillary: So you're saying, I go in to the DNC, and tell them I got this idea for a campaign about nothing.
Obama: WE go into the DNC.
Hillary: "We"? Since when are you experienced enough?
Obama (Scoffs): Experience. We're talking to Democrats.
Hillary: You want to go with me to the DNC?
Obama: Yeah. I think we really go something here.
Hillary: What do we got?
Obama: A concept.
Hillary: What concept?
Obama: A concept for a winning presidential campaign.
Hillary: I still don't know what the concept is!
Obama: It's a campaign about HOPE AND CHANGE. It's about nothing!
Hillary: Right. Who does HOPE and who does CHANGE?
Obama: I'll do HOPE and CHANGE because I can do nothing about them. You can do EXPERIENCE because you don't really have any. All these Republican candidates are going to campaign on something. We'll campaign on nothing!
Hillary: So, we go into the DNC, we tell them we've got an idea for a campaign about nothing.
Obama: Exactly.
Hillary: They say, "What's your campaign about?" I say, "Nothing."
Obama: There you go.
Hillary (After a moment of pause): I think you may have something there.

I especially like the part about "that poof Edwards." HEHEH


Amy said...

That is the funniest thing I've read all day!

Thanks for sharing.

Marbel said...

What a scream!

LynAC said...


mykidsmom said...


And I have an Irish twist on the Obama/Clinton saga:

"There once were two cats of Kilkenny/Each thought there was one cat too many/So they fought and they fit, and they scratched and they bit/Til accepting their nails and the tips of their tails/Instead of two cats there weren't any."

I was going to post this on my St.Paddy's day post, but thought it might kill the mood for some, LoL.

mykidsmom said...


If you have the time, stop by my blog and check it out.