Wednesday, October 3, 2007

I guess it's been hard to think of a post lately because the things that have been concerning me lately aren't things I can talk about on the internet. They seem to be taking up all my mental capacity though.. So I'll try posting ala Mrs. Darling today and just start typing and see where I end up. I feel a bit like a failure lately, I guess. I can go around to the "mommy blogs" and read about all these wonderful principles and high ideals and I mentally agree with them, but I know that lately I have really been struggling to just to keep routine and keep the little boys moving along in schoolwork, etc. I don't feel like I'm living up to my own expectations. I know I could be expecting more of them than I do, especially O. It seems like the minute I take my eyes off those little guys they take to rioting. Iyiyi.

It really, really rained today, and that was fun. S. and E. were walking home from S.'s piano lessons and the lightening got really loud and seemed to be quite close. They ran and came in dripping wet. And the little boys had to run outside and stand in it. My kids won't play in the pool all summer because "It's too cold" but then they LOVE to go out in the rain and play in the puddles.

I do love the fall weather. I seem to get a lot more energy in the fall. Maybe because the pollen all gets showered down, and maybe because I just like the weather cooler. Probably both. I've been taking a lot of walks lately just to think. I love to see the trees change and get some fresh air.

R. has been working a lot lately and comes home all tired out. It's hard to wait for him to come home all day and then watch him eat and go to bed.

Well, maybe I'd better go read to those boys.....

8 comments:

Marbel said...

I go in spurts reading the mommy blogs. Seems like after a while they get repetitive, so I take a break. I don't want to say anything specific and offend anyone. But sometimes it seems like I'm reading the same encouraging post over and over... or I should say meant to be encouraging, but ultimately discouraging when I can't live up to it. Who needs it?

Mrs. Darling makes me tired but she never makes me feel inadequate!

Rain and puddles are just different than pools!

Joyce said...

I'm sorry you're discouraged. It sounds like you care, very much, but are sad that you are so finite. Is that it? I feel that way a lot, because it is Oh-so-true! By God's grace I'm seeking to be faithful in my little corner of the world, but I have a long ways to go. More energy and being younger would help! :P

kerri @ gladoil said...

Finite? I guess I'm always a little bummed about being finite.. Or maybe at least have some superpowers or something.. That would help. Mostly though I'm just worried about somethings and I guess they are distracting me a little.

Anonymous said...

I hope I'm not one of the mommy blogs. What is that anyway?

I can never live up to what I want to be--only human here. Lost it totally this morning on the boy whose voice is changing and can't control his temper. Like Nails on a Chalkboard, these are the Days of our Lives..... anyway..

Dh must be on the same work thing your dh is on. Bah humbug. I like having some extra money but I miss my husband....

me...Lynan

kerri @ gladoil said...

No, the mommy blogs I mean are the ones that are pretty much set up for advice, vision, you know. That kind of encouragement stuff. Which is fine, I don't mean to belittle it, I'm just not always up to it.

Mrs. Darling said...

Aw Kerri, I need to stop by. Wish this rain and a cup of coffee and all that's on our minds...goodness couldn't we just have a wonderful time baring our souls!

Maybe you're feeling this way cause you're pregnant again! OOoooEeeee!

Mrs. Darling said...

UH that wasnt suppose to say "wish this rain", it was suppose to say "with this rain".

kerri @ gladoil said...

Yeah, I WISH it was that I was pregnant again. But no, that's not it.

What is it about me though. The baby is a year old and everybody looks at me like "are ya pregnant again?" I just don't understand it! Why would you all think I might be pregnant again? I can't think why..

A watched pot never boils, you know.
:)