Here are a couple pictures of Zeke and his cast. This is when it was all bright and new, though. The doctor did say he could walk on it, but I think he underestimated how much walking a busy little boy can do! In a week and a half it was worn through on the bottom and the bandages were hanging out the sides, kind of looked like the lepers in old Biblical movies looked. :) So finally Rand decided to cut the thing off, about a week early and we just made him stay in shoes all the time to keep his foot still. Well, praise God, he went to the doctor and they said it heald up nicely, so that little tauma in his little life is over.

Stacy McDonald at Your Sacred Calling has posted an article by another writer, Sonny Scott. It highlights a quirk of human nature that I have been mulling over in my mind lately, but he talks about it so much more directly than I could have. Specifically, how we human beings have tendency to resent those who have done a better job at something than we ourselves. In this case he's talking about home schoolers, but it certainly isn't homeschooling alone that brings this out in people. Take housekeeping for example. Isn't amazing how resentful we women can be about other women who are good housekeepers? "Well, I decided that being a good mother is more important than being a good housekeeper." "She must be really uptight." "I'm just a more creative person than that." Even down to buying a plaque for our walls that say "A clean house is a sign of a sick mind." Oh good grief. Probably the reason her house is clean is because she makes it a priority and works at it!

When I first discovered homeschooling, I couldn't believe everybody wouldn't want to do it. I could see children being liberated in droves, schools emptying like a public pool when summer vacation is over. I talked about it with a lot of enthusiasm to anyone with ears. Pretty soon I did have to realize that this "good news" was not always well received by everyone. The very fact that I saw any fault with the status quo was interpreted by some as having a judgemental attitude. I'm not saying this is true of everyone who decided to do something different from me, but those who had to smear my character whether mentally or vocally to justify their own position.

I've also noticed that those who do this are most likely the ones who for whatever reason are unhappy with the way their children have turned out. Usually if people are content with their decisions and happy with the results they don't have to grudge someone else being happy with their own as well. If I'm financially content, I don't have to be envious of someone else's good fortunes, I am free to rejoice with those who rejoice. But if I am secretly (or maybe not so secretly) harboring regrets, envy, resentment or whatever, I probably won't be able to be genuinely happy for my neighbor when he gets a new boat. Just the same, if I am feeling defensive or unhappy with my children and how they've turned out, than when someone else's kid is doing impressive things, had a good relationship with his parents and tucks in his shirt tails to boot... Well..

Often it is just so easy rather than to face my own failings it is much easier just to lash out with criticism at the other. "Just look at that smile. There's pride in there somewhere." "They think they are better than the rest of us." "They've made an idol out of their family." "They are most certainly judging me." (Probably they spend a lot less time thinking about me than I think!) We would all be a lot better off if we knew how to graciously be happy for other people, acknowledge God's sovereignty and get over it!

Now I'm not talking about people who make different decisions. There are complexities to people's decisions that we may not be familiar with. It isn't up to any of us, unless it's in our sphere of power, to make a full assessment of what other people are doing. At least not the areas where there is Biblical liberty-not out and out sin, of course. We don't really always know the heart motives involved. Though I AM a firm believer in examining the fruits we see in areas, such as educational choices, and make decisions based on what we observe. That we all must do.

Anyway, enough of my rambling. Don't let me take up your time. Go read the article.

Why have I not posted in so long? I don't know. I get out of the habit I guess. I wish I had a set time to sit down and post each day, but I don't. I have to catch the computer when I can, and hope there is something in my head to say. Sometimes I wonder why I keep the blog, but it really isn't because I have such a ton of profound stuff to say anyway, or because my life is all that interesting, but because it is nice if even occasionally I get to "get about" and touch base with all of you. :)

Lately I've been jumping about to a lot of "crafty mom" blogs. I admire women who don't just get the job done in being a housewife and mom but really make an art form of it. It's inspiring. I love to look at brightly colored fabrics and cute decorating ideas and such. Here are some of my favorites.. All Sorts (my daughters like this one too), Portabellopixie (a fabric designer to make me drool, drool, drool. Especially her new Farmer's Market line.), HELLOmynameisHeather, (More luscious fabric. Where do I rob a bank so I can get me yards and yards of this stuff?) Turkey Feathers, and Block-a-Day, because I love quilts. At least these are the blogs I've added to my favorites folder, but what I really like to do is go to one with a long list of links and scuttle all over the place and drool over the creative, beautiful things these women do and dream of being able to do them too. And I probably would if I didn't waste so bloody much time on the computer! I love all the needle arts, too. Embroidery, quilting, knitting, crochet. But usually when I get around to sitting down to doing something it is of a more practical turn of mind. Shay needs a good all around the house type denim skirt, I have a blouse cut out for Elisa of some fabric the neighbor lady gave me, bloomers are needed by all the girls-but Shayleen. She is past bloomer age now. Doesn't go down the slide at the park so much anymore... I do have a scrap quilt that I've been working on for Irene, but its been going for 2 years now. She always seems to need play jumpers more. I am knitting a sweater for Joseph. I have failed at everything I've knitted beyond scarves. I swore it off earlier this year. But I have been sick so much this last couple months I just wanted something I could sit and do with my hands and not feel like I was being idle. I hate to feel like I'm being idle. So I'm making him this sweater, and hoping I get done in time for it to fit him in the fall.

I guess if I don't it can be for the next baby. But I think I will get it done.

Also, completely on a different subject, I found this video via Large Family Mothering encouraging Germans to have more children. Interesting, huh?

Well, I better go tend to mine.

How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No. A woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her task; I will never pity her for its smallness.

Chesterton

Last Saturday my oldest three got to go fly in airplanes with another family in our church...

It was a 2 hour wait-good thing they brought cards..

F. buckling up

From the sky..

S. and her friend going up..

At one point they called us because F. was passing over our house. It was fun for the little kids to be able to go out and wave.

I was wondering if F. would come home wanting to be a pilot. But no, it was fun, but he didn't seem to want to make it a career option. And E. got air sick (just a little) so I guess that's out for her too. Just kidding.

Legalist: Someone who disapproves of something I feel at liberty to do.

Liberal: Someone who does something I don't feel at liberty to do.

:)

Praise God, Z. get back from the foot doctor today and all he has is a cast. YES! Maybe the doctor was just trying to prepare us for the worst, I don't know. Well, I am relieved, anyway. It's a snazzy glow in the dark one too. He doesn't know the import of it now, but Sunday when he gets lots of attention for it he will know it is no small thing to be a little boy with a cast. :) I've got to get S. to take some pictures for me.

Today though we are all down with the flu. Judging by the status updates on Facebook, our entire church is down with the flu. I'm a little afraid to go to church Sunday, come to think of it. Our church values community. And one of the BIG ways we have of expressing community is in the sharing of whatever sicknesses there are going around. It seems like if one person gets something, we all do.

Here are some more pictures of graduation.. Mrs. Darling's Tink being funny.

S. on stage listening to another girl give her talk. For some reason I can't get the words and pictures lined up right. Grr.

Well, the kids here are watching dancing and behind them is one of the tables that they set up to display all their interests and accomplishments over the years. That's one bad thing about me not being real sentimental or a pack rat-I tend to throw everything away. But we did manage to come up with a reasonable amount of pictures, anyway..

Then Saturday, my oldest three got to go ride in airplanes with our good friends who have a son (The one in the white shirt, actually) who is studying to be a pilot. But I think I will post about that later because I'm starting to feel tired and flu-ish. Goodnight.

S. had her graduation ceremony last Friday night. Here she is singing her song... (She thought singing a song seemed less scary that giving a speech.)









We gave a little talk and gave her her diploma...
With one of her friends who was also graduating..
And what RCC event would be complete without a dance?

Mrs. Darling got to come as well, and it was a lot of fun to have her there with her daughter Tink. Since my camera had broken down we gave her one for her graduation gift. With the stipulation that she has to let us use it from time to time.

Well, the party is done with and now she can look ahead to the next phases of her life. :)

I would really appreciate if you all would pray for our little guy, Zeke. Last week he was playing with his brother and fell funny on his foot. It's been giving him pain off and on all week so my husband took him to get an x-ray yesterday and today they called us and told us that it looks like he has a fracture. There's also some unclarity in the x-ray and there's even talk about surgery.

This last year just seems like one bamboozle after another. We had a baby in September last year and we pay our midwife out of pocket. Soon after my husband's back went out and was out of work for a few weeks and then there were chiropractor bills. We had a major financial loss with my husband's business due to a conflict with a client. Now he is taking us to court to get more money out of us. Our son cut his hand open carving and we had to take him in for stitches. There have been difficulties in personal relationships. Any of these things in themselves, we could recover from, but every time we start to get our feet back under us another thing happens.

It gets to where I've started feeling jumpy all the time, wondering what could be next.

I don't care anymore. If God wants us to be able to pay our bills, they will get paid. If He doesn't, they won't. I'm tired of feeling guilty, wondering if I hadn't done this or that. I don't care what people think anymore. I'm tired of trying to handle things right and then have them fall apart anyway.

This might sound pessimistic, but actually, I'm feeling relieved. Nothing is in my hands. I can't do anything about anything. Not try to find a cheaper house, not feel guilty because I feel like I should be selling stuff on Ebay or finding some way to make money to pay the bills. Not wonder about how the things I've said or done or tried to do are interpreted by others. I'm just done with it all.

I want to be a good wife and mother. Dare I say, even a godly one? I try hard some days and some days I belly-flop in major ways. I think I know something and then I don't. I want to have high standards and I'm happier with my life when I do. I don't believe my inadequacies are an excuse not to try. But somewhere there is a line where I just have to give it all to God and hope in His mercy. That's all I really ever had anyway.

I'm going to go clean the kitchen. :)

Roberta asked what calls to me about Texas.
Anyone who knows me would probably not expect me to start talking and thinking about moving to Texas. Montana, Idaho, Washington, yeah.. But Texas? And all the areas we are thinking about are city areas. Fort Worth, Katy, and a little bit, San Antonio, though I think we've pretty much ruled that out. I've always wanted to live in the country. For years I schemed and plotted and searched real estate ads. Had my poor husband drive all over the blessed world to check out this area and that...

Well, really, the same ideals that I wanted to move to the country for are the same ones that get me thinking about Texas. Property values in our area are pretty high. No, not as bad as California but still, higher than is comfortably attainable by a single income, large-ish family. We do have our own house, and I don't mean to make it sound like we just can't make it here, that's not true. But it has always been pretty much month to month. My husband is self employed and he has always worked very long hours. He comes home tired most of the time and doesn't have a lot of energy left to give the kids and I. I feel like if we could move to where the cost of living is lower we would be able to afford a larger house for less money, and maybe it would help to free him up. This is true of Texas. Here is an example of what about $150,000 will buy in the Fort Worth area.

Any of you who are familiar with real estate around here know that if you search for $150,000 in the Portland metro area or anywhere even remotely close you will come up with condos. And either they won't be in the best neighborhoods or they will be very, very small. There is just no comparison!

So that is a big draw. But also, there is a church in that area that looks (on the surface) to be pretty doctrinally close to us and is affiliated with our denomination, the Confederation of Reformed Evangelicals, which is really important to us. This one, Heritage Covenant Church looks like one that we could find ourselves fitting into. S. especially approved when she saw that there appears to be dancing. :) She really enjoys the contra-country type dancing that they do in the Jane Austin movies.

So this is a little of what we are mulling over. I can hear what you're thinking... "But it's so hot" I KNOW that's what you're thinking! And I can't deny that concerns me. We are talking about not selling our house here but if we do this (and this is all daydreaming and mulling and internet snooping and nothing further so far.) we will rent for a couple years and see if we can take the heat. :) Maybe we'll find a house with a pool.

Thoughts?
Except you, Mrs. Darling. I already know what you think. :) But you know, Fort Worth is right by Dallas and Dallas is supposed to be some sort of shopping Mecca, so you could come visit me and we could just go shopping for days on end. :)

This video at Vision Forum is just too precious to miss! Especially for us who are raising young sons. May God grant us all the wisdom to bring up such sweet little gentlemen!

Before we made a theological change and started going to the church we are in now, we went to a church called Beaverton Foursquare. The pastor we had there, Ron Mehl, passed away a few years ago from lukemia and shortly after that the local radio station which had previously played his sermons every weekday morning stopped. That was sad to me because it was pretty much a mainstay of my day to listen to Pastor Ron. He was always such a gentle and kind spirited man, but I never felt like he was compromising. Some people can just fit so much more into a quiet word. He always seemed to have a humble authority about him.

Anyway, I'm so happy that KPDQ has decided to air his sermons again. I probably know most of them pretty well anyway, but I'll be so glad to start my day to his voice again!