Wednesday, December 19, 2007

A friend of mine is convinced I have a light sensory disorder. At first I was kind of skeptical because I was always considered a good reader but I think more and more she may be right. I have always thought if I was in school today I wold be diagnosed with ADD. I had the hardest time with paying attention, doing school work, losing things, and especially day dreaming. The teachers would always say "Kerri would be so smart, do so well if she would only apply herself." I would work for days on a project only to drop it on the way to school or leave it in another notebook at home. My desk, locker, notebook, room were always a complete disaster. (I tell R. he was pretty brave to marry me.) I would hyper focus on one thing (like a really long report I did on cat breeds that went on and on until my mom made me stop.) that wasn't required and then I wouldn't do the stuff that was.

I have always noticed I lose my mind when I am under fluorescent lighting. I can have my whole grocery list memorized (or a list in my pocket) and when step inside the door my brain goes fzzzt. And all data is lost. Or I forget (honestly, I do this all the time) that I even have the list. I have completely walked out of the store and gotten halfway home before I remember to look at the list! I spent a bunch of time looking at the paint chips or earrings and I didn't get what was on my list!

The other day when S. and I went to the mall I had one specific thing I knew I wanted to get there. One thing. But when we walked in the door we were so hungry we felt sick so we went to get a sandwich. After a half hour in line and eating I completely couldn't remember why I was there. The information was just not there! I walked around trying to remember. Not there. Completely gone. We looked at Christmas music, clothes, wandered around and it still wasn't there. I couldn't remember until we had gotten off the bus in our own town and were walking home.

This can get so depressing sometimes. I feel like I'm always in a scatter trying to remember where I am going, what I am doing, who needs what.

Also at night I get really.. Well.. not afraid exactly because I know it is me, but when we drive at night the lights that whiz past are confusing and over stimulating to me. I don't know which ones to pay attention to and which to disregard. And more and more I have been having a lot of trouble paying attention when I read. My eye skips lines and my mind will insert a word when it really isn't till the next line.

I go for a lot of walks. I think that the natural lighting outside really helps to calm me and help me to think straight. I get my best ideas when I am outside walking.

I'd like to try to get tested for this light processing thing. And get Forrest tested too. I see a lot of me in that boy..

7 comments:

Joyce said...

That fluorescent lighting is bad for lots of folks. I never feel quite "myself" under that kind of lighting; I get to feeling disoriented and fuzzy-headed. It's really bad for people with epilepsy, too. I'm with you on night driving being terrible - so confusing. I hope you find some real insights, and then share with us what you find to be helpful. :)

Susan in Elk Grove, CA said...

This friend of yours wouldn't happen to have the initials A.C.? If so, she may be on to something! I've observed results in her offspring.

Mrs. Darling said...

Hmm Ive never noticed anything with Tink and fluorescent. I do know she cant read a thing when shes on the computer because the computer light hurts her eyes. It would be interesting to know what you end up finding out about yourself and F.

I didnt do picks this year cause my camera went all haywire but I'd love one of you guys!

Amy said...

I didn't know that Kerri - I just thought you were artsy, lol. Hope you can get the test and find out for sure.

I'm that way when I go to Joann's fabric store. I forget what I'm there for unless I have a list and then I just wander and give up.

Roberta said...

You described me! I'm thinking it is just "information overload" when going into a store or any kind (they all usually have flourescents though). I always think I'll shop faster if I go alone..not true...it seems I need to be multi-focused to get it done or something, even though I stink at multi-tasking. Complex are we!
Hmmm...you got me thinking, there is a "hideous" flourescent light in our kitchen. I hate being in there with it on, thankfully we have wonderful natural light with the windows during the day, but at night "ick!"
Interested to know what you find out.
btw posted an updated photo. how the years go by.

Marbel said...

When I read your post I thought... hm, I've felt that way. Then I forgot about it. Today I had to call my husband from the grocery store because I couldn't figure out if the price of something was a good deal or not. I could not figure out the approximate price per pound. It was a little over $19 for 20 pounds! Pretty easy math, eh? But it floored me.

Mom of twelve said...

Wow, I have never known anyone else describe how it is I feel in stores with florescent lights! I feel like I go into a time warp of sorts, can't tell how long I've been in there, everything feels weird and strange. Fred Meyer and I agree Amy, JoAnn's. Bleh!

I checked out the website and scored 13 out of the 17 on the Light Sensitivity self test. Wow. I am a good reader/book worm, no ADD/ADHD as a kid,etc. I have complained of "poor night vision" to doctors for years and I have glasses I wear when I drive at night, with a very low prescription, and they help a tad.

Do you know how much the testing costs? I looked around on the site and couldn't find it. Just curious. Thanks!